Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Pacman Jones and Chris Henry: Two Peas in the UFC Pod?

In my last MMA post regarding Anderson Silva and Fedor Emelianenko, I mentioned this season of the Ultimate Fighter and how last week's episode featured one of the all-time greatest meltdowns in the show's storied history of meltdowns. I also mentioned that the episode ended with the beginnings of what looked like an even better psychotic break.

Well, I'm out in Cali so the meat of that teaser is a few hours away. I'm excited.

The fighter in question is one Junie Browning. He has bleached blond hair and sounds like he's from the Deep South (I believe he's mentioned a trailer park or two in his past). The guy looks like he has the talent to be a force in the lightweight division (again, I don't know much about the sport) except for one problem.

He is certifiably disturbed.

At first, it looked like he just had a bad temper and a drinking problem. Not so. Junie's got both of those things, but he is also making a pretty strong case for being bipolar. All of this is subject to UFC editing and the rest of its Hype Machine. But there's a lot of incontrovertible evidence on tape.

When he is calm and composed, Junie comes off cocky and self-assured. Get him rattled or put a little (OK, a lot) of alcohol in him and the truth comes to the surface.

In the first two weeks (four episodes), Browning has gotten insanely drunk twice. Both times, he has proceeded to work himself into a frenzy (once by himself, once with a cohort). Then, he's gone berserk over the slightest response from people (so far just the other team) he is desperately trying to antagonize. He's broken glasses and furniture; thrown anything not nailed down into the pool; and even cut another fighter by throwing a glass at him (in retaliation for a handful of peanuts thrown his way after extensive provocation on Junie's part).

In the middle of all this, Junie periodically and immediately broke down into tears. Real, sobbing tears. Sometimes for no apparent reason. Sometimes because another fighter began to give Junie a taste of his own medicine.

And then he'd switch back into an enraged maniac like someone hit a button.

He's also complained of no one loving him and not having a real family, then attacked Team Nogueira for behaving like a family. I believed he insinuated that they looked gay. Just a whole host of psychological issues and red flags.

He puts it all in writing, too. It's an exceptional source of unintentional comedy for anybody who's seen him on the show.

But the really incredible part came in last week's episode, the morning after Junie's second and more violent drunken orgy of poor judgment.

The President of the UFC, Dana White, entered to supposedly drop the guillotine and send Browning packing. But he didn't (not that it surprised any viewer who has been paying attention).

He totally and completely eviscerated Junie. I mean, he did a really good job of humiliating him. I guess he was trying to shame Browning into flying right after he received his second chance.

It didn't work. Didn't even hold for a week.

Junie was back to flipping out after the very next fight. This time, he wasn't drunk. He was just insane. After his cohort from the drunken antics got eliminated by one of Junie's rivals, Browning flipped out. And it didn't take very much, not by the fighting world's standard. He started by just hopping around and bellowing obscenities at the winner.

That obviously wasn't going to cut it.

Junie literally hopped the cage and tried to go after the dude who had just won the fight. The episode ended with him struggling with UFC legends Frank Mir and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. Those would be world-class HEAVYWEIGHTS, just really not smart.

Hmmm. Less than seven days after a death sentence reprieve, Junie is literally fighting to put his head back on the chopping block.

Which brings me to Pacman Jones, Chris Henry, and all the rest of those clowns (I'd include Terrell Owens and Chad Ocho Sinko by name, but they aren't in the same class when it comes to legal issues).

If you want to know why Jerry Jones is an idiot, tune into the Ultimate Fighter Season Eight tonight.

If you want to know how Henry and Pacman can be surprised about Pacman's suspension, tune in tonight.

If you want to know what the "situation" is that, according to Henry, he and Pacman find themselves in? Tune in tonight (hint: it's that they are crazy and have absolutely NO self-control, but someone that's apparently not a situation of their own creation).

Or take it from Junie himself, "[l]ove me or hate me, they’re saying my name."

That's where it starts.

Broke, unemployed, and the butt of a cruel joke is where it ends.

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